I’m a little late with my week one update, but better late than never.

It’s been an interesting week, some ups and definitely some downs. During the hardest couple of days, I had a big reminder just how much my mood affects what I eat and vice versa. When I’m sad, or down, or anxious, I really don’t want to eat fruit and veg. I don’t want to cook. I want to curl up and eat peanut butter and marmite sandwiches – or crisps, chocolate, ice cream, pizza… Basically lots of high carb, high calorie things that aren’t good for me.

But I managed to resist – for the most part. I did have a bowl of pesto pasta, but I weighed out a proper portion, added some veg and even weighed out my cheese. I also managed to have only one peanut butter sandwich (and even then I measured out my peanut butter). Most importantly, I got back on track.

So – highlights of the week:

• I’ve really enjoyed my smoothies in a morning. Yeah it’s about of a faff to make them sometimes but it’s worth it. I really noticed the difference when I didn’t have one. Favourites so far are the cherry/cacao and raspberry/rosewater/pistachio/cardamon
• I remembered how much I like some dishes I haven’t had in a while – particular favourites include veggie Thai green curry and sweet potato falafel with yogurt and feta sauce
• I’ve enjoyed trying out new recipes – I even made my own red pepper and chilli hummus (which I love).
• I lost 4 lbs in a week. Weight isn’t the primary motive for being healthier, but it’s good to see such a difference so soon (although it does show just how badly I was eating).

I’ve also learnt some lessons:

• Not every experiment is going to be a success – exhibit A: Friday’s green sludge… I now know to only add a small amount of spirulina to my smoothies unless I want them to look like something from a sci-fi film (it didn’t taste bad as such, but I did end up with a green tongue).
• It’s ok to not stick to my meal plan. These things happen – move on.
• Cooking/preparing three meals a day is a lot. I’d planned lots of different lunches – most didn’t happen. Going forward I’m making things in advance so I can have one ‘easy’ meal each day.
• Smoothies seem to be much thinner and easier to drink with almond milk than our usual semi-skimmed. Bonus – it’s lower in calories and sugars.
• Ballet barre workouts make my legs ache – somehow I always block that bit from my memory…

I’m now into week two and things seem to be going ok. I’ve been less prescriptive with my meal planning. I’ve also planned a couple of meals Boyfriend will cook, so it’s not always me in the kitchen. Let’s see how it goes…

So, I’m going off on a bit of a tangent today – don’t worry, I have a sewing-related post for later in the week.

Like others, my eating and exercise habits have taken a bit of a nosedive during lockdown. Bread, cheese and peanut butter have become my go-tos. Unfortunately, existing on peanut butter and marmite sandwiches (don’t knock it until you’ve tried it) isn’t exactly the healthiest. Add that to a new found obsession with baking (more on that another time), and it’s really not good for me.

So Boyfriend and I have made a decision to step up the healthy eating.

If you don’t know me in real life, there’s probably a few things you should know about me and food before we go any further:

• I am, and always have been, a fussy eater. I probably always will be fussy where food is concerned.
• Some of the key foods I don’t eat are onions, mushrooms, broccoli, bananas, oranges and most fish. I will only eat eggs cooked in certain ways and some things I will only eat pureed or dried (e.g. strawberries and tomatoes).
• Not all of these are about the taste – sometimes it’s about the texture or the smell.
• I get a lot of anxiety about food. These aren’t things I just don’t like – often the smell, texture or taste makes me feel physically sick. If I’m going to eat at someone else’s house and they don’t know me well, or know what I’ll eat, I get really anxious and stressed – likewise going to a restaurant I don’t know causes issues, especially if they don’t publish menus or only have a “sample menu” online.
• Just because I’ve eaten something before, does not mean I won’t get anxious about eating it again. I know I like apples (as long as they’re cut up) but if I’ve not had one in a while, I almost have to force myself to eat some. Yes, I know this is odd. No, I don’t know either.
• Some people think these are things I should just be able to “get over”. Trust me, I’ve tried. My family tried. I remember sitting at the dinner table in a battle of wills with my mum over a meal I was adamant I wasn’t going to eat. I also fed lots of meals to out dog (unfortunately she never would eat lettuce), or even flushing food down the toilet.

• I’m having smoothies for breakfast. I like quite berries, but sometimes the texture can be a problem (I don’t care what people say, strawberries are furry), so blitzing them is perfect. I can also hide things like spinach in there to sneak some extra veg down me. Two days in and I’ve already learnt I need to be careful not to make them too thick. I had to thin today’s down and it still took me an hour to drink it all.
• My spiraliser is back out. Bought during a previous health kick, I’ve learnt which of the veg I eat work as noodles (i.e. carrots – butternut squash disintegrates when cooked.) So last night’s chicken satay had carrot noodles as well as some wheat ones.
• I need to weigh things out. It’s too easy to slip and tip half the bag of pasta in the pan, and sprinkles of grated cheese add up. So I’ve set my limits – 90g pasta per person, 28g cheese at a time.
• Planning meals – no more “what do you fancy for dinner tonight?” and having something out of the freezer because it’s easy. If I plan, I can get things out to defrost or marinate them a head of time.
• Record what I actually eat. We’re both partial to the My Fitness Pal app, but I’m sure there’s others out there.
• Cooking from scratch makes things easier. If I make it, I know what’s in it and I can add veg I’ll eat or puree things if I need to (such as onions in curries etc).
• I’m not cutting things out or saying things aren’t allowed. From past experience, this doesn’t work for me. I’m still going to allow myself a bit of chocolate (weighed out of course) and I’m going to try making my own sweet potato crisps in the oven. I’m even going to allow myself a little peanut butter – within reason.
• I’m going to share what I’m eating. This isn’t about boasting or anything like that, but if others know I’m doing this, I’m hoping it will help me stick to it.